How History Books Will Remember The Government Shut Down: A Masterpost
*casually brings this back*
(´—`*)
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Everyone, take a break from doomscrolling and politics to look at my favorite photos of my goofy cat!
His name is (Buttermilk) Biscuit
I’ve been possessed by a demon at the idea of a “Southern” Harry Potter.
A harry potter that was abandoned by the dursley’s at a young age in america, and the dursley’s in turn leave Britain for Europe so Dumbledore can’t track any of them down.
Harry is abandoned in deep rural texas, he’s young, maybe 3, where he’s found, and eventually adopted by a nice southern family after nobody can figure out who he is.
Fast forward, Harry is eleven, has a thick southern accent, and gets a letter for the american school for wizardary. His family is spooked, he’s confused, but they realize it’s legit.
However, everything gets turned on it’s head when he gets to the school, and the headmaster realizes just who he is. Harry Potter, the boy who lived (and then went missing) so they contact hogwarts and now it’s just a cluster of confusion.
and by Southern, I mean southern. I mean Harry “What the fuck is a kilometer?!” Potter.
Harry who grew up in a home where it’s complimentary to call woman “Sugar.”
But not racist southern, the opposite actually.
Oh yeah, and his father has a gun and isn’t afraid to put voldemort in his place should this weirdo keep pushing his luck.
Summary:
As far as Harry Collins knew he was born and raised in Texas. His father and mother love him to bits, stern but fair. He has a best friend named Jayce.
Then he learns he’s a wizard, and considering all the strange things that happens to him, he’s not too surprised.
He is surprised, however, when he gets to his school in question and within the first hour he’s sitting in the headmaster’s office, the woman pacing up and down while frantically trying to get into contact with someone via the fireplace a man named ‘Albus’ what an odd name…
-OR-
Harry was abandoned in America at a young age, and now his whole life isn’t just a lie, he’s forced to go to this school all the way across the pond. A real fish out of water he is.
Yet, despite everything being different, almost nothing is at the same time. Almost.
Snippet!:
Ricky moved some of his own light brown hair out of his eyes and Harry watched this. “Say pop,” The boy started as he thought about his own hair versus his parents. “I’ve been wonderin’ see, we’ve been learnin’ about genetics and Punnett squares in school the other day. You have brown hair, and Momma has blonde hair, why do I have black hair?” Harry asked as he pointed to himself.
“Mmm?” Ricky grunted and looked at Harry briefly before looking at the road. “Oh that? You get that from my Grandpop. He had thick black hair, it just skipped a generation.”
“Oh! And…my eyes? Neither you nor Momma wear glasses.”
“You writin’ a book?” Ricky laughed.
Harry puffed out his chest. “Maybe I am.”
There was another laugh and reached over where he pulled Harry into a hug. “Also from my Grandpop.”
Anonymous asked:
Why the fuck are you 30+ on tumblr
segamascott answered:
this is my house?
color-ns asked:
Just read the first chapter of your southern HP fic and I LOVE it! Can’t wait to see what you have in mind for it next chapter (if you’re planning one I hope you are it’s great so far)
Thank you so much! I’m glad you like it and I hope to continue and impress!
annoyingorangutan